So all this emo­tional crap I put myself through has brought me to this very weird place in my life: doubt­ing God’s exis­tence. It sounds stu­pid and corny, but it’s crazy how sit­u­a­tions can influ­ence a per­son like that. I’ve never been one to push my beliefs on any­one, but I’m extremely pas­sion­ate about my faith, so I was some­what sur­prised to find myself in that place recently. Thank­fully, through talk­ing with a cou­ple peo­ple about my life and stuff (gotta love ya Bar­bara Hasher)… I’ve come to this very new feel­ing of excite­ment about the future. Just the fact that I can leave all of this behind me, and in about a year it’ll be an amaz­ingly dif­fer­ent atmos­phere where I can be noth­ing but free and… happy. Go figure.

I was rem­i­nisc­ing the other day, and it’s just plain crazy where God’s taken me just in the last cou­ple years. I start this stu­pid fan web­site, and loose the pas­sion for the band, but decide to con­tinue work­ing on the site to fur­ther my web design expe­ri­ence. Then then-web super­vi­sor of First Com­pany Man­age­ment askes me if I would be inter­ested in work­ing with news­boys and Inpop Records. That in itself is a pretty awe­some sit­u­a­tion, but it gets even better.

Dur­ing that time, then-guitarist Jody Davis leaves news­boys and Bryan Ole­sen joins. Bryan hap­pens to have this indie band he’s been play­ing in for years, and they are signed to band-mate Peter Furler’s record label. That indie band, Cast­ing Pearls, now is now signed onto a label and with that a word-wide dis­tri­b­u­tion deal. Fast for­ward about 6 months, and I take an inter­est in this band Cast­ing Pearls and decide to go back to my old ways and cre­ate a fan site.

One thing leads to another and I end up inter­view­ing the band in Colum­bus, OH when they do a show­case set with news­boys. I start talk­ing with the drum­mer of the band and start doing small things here and there for the band online… just like upload­ing pho­tos and admin­is­trat­ing the mes­sage board. Then, As of this month, I’m offi­cially a paid intern of Cast­ing Pearls and The 180 Tour… and that’s sim­ply awe­some. God is just amaz­ing, he’s given me tal­ents and a pas­sion for the Chris­t­ian music indus­try that grows every day.

I say all of that not to come across as “oh, look who I am and what I’ve done” but to show myself how God has indeed moved in my life. I’ve not only got those two cir­cum­stances on my resume, but other small jobs with major record labels such as Warner Bros. Records and Gef­fen Records just to start.

I just think it’s really crazy for me to have been in the mind­set to start doubt­ing God in my life, but I love the fact that all I have to do is look back and His pres­ence is every­where. Just because of a just plain sucky sit­u­a­tion, I don’t have to start ques­tion­ing every­thing that actu­ally is good in my life.

Only You
writ­ten by Justin York

Thoughts of for­ever wres­tle my mind
And my fears and my doubts
Still linger inside
So I ques­tioned Your pres­ence
God are you real?
’Cause my heart is still bro­ken
Unable to heal

It’s You
Only You can save me now
Too weak on my own with­out You
Only You can save me now
Too weak on my own with­out You

Des­per­ate and bro­ken
With so many tears
I ignored my own con­science
And cov­ered my ears
To Your song of for­give­ness
Redemp­tion and hope
I can barely hang onto the end of my rope

In Your arms, in Your arms I am safe now

Oh, and by the way… I for­got to men­tion another oppor­tu­nity I have: you will hope­fully be able to catch me on the 180 Tour with Cast­ing Pearls nation­wide start­ing in Jan­u­ary 2007. Crazy? I think so.